I've been a non-conformist for as long as I can remember. I started playing bondage games with my playmates before puberty. I vaguely remember when I first started searching for private muddy spots where I could play, and I always had a secret fetish for tight, sexy clothes.
Much of my social dysfunction came from thinking I was a freak and there was no one like me, anywhere. I was close to 20 years old when I discovered an adult book store and learned that there were others who shared one or more of my fetishes. When I made that discovery, I also became painfully aware that I had lived the first 20 years of my life, hating myself and making up cover stories for my devious behavior.
I've blogged about this before, but that's why I am all about full disclosure and being completely open about who I am. There are many facets of who I am as a person. Sexually, I have the kinks I already mentioned. Professionally, I have a rather diverse career that has sort of come full circle. In my day to day life, I love to learn and explore. I have a really wide range of interests and an insatiable appetite for information.
So, here I am on deviantArt, where I can post most of my fetish fantasies alongside my sunsets and photos of my dog. I save the more explicit images for my other web-sites, and I never post links to my on-line clip sales site, because dA has rules and I do my best to respect the rules, even though I truly believe that censorship is a bad idea. We are who we are, and we're all different. I don't surf around the Internet looking for things that offend me. If I do see something that I don't understand or agree with, I can choose not to be offended. I can move on to things that better suit my tastes. I'm sure that some people would rather not see my fetish photos. I get that, but if my images had to please everyone, I'd be unable to post anything with any personal meaning.
So, I post some things here, and some things there. One of the hardest rules for me to abide by is the no links rule. When someone asks me about a video, I just want to link them to it, but that would violate dA's TOS. I'm lucky to have my own website (that I can't link here), where I can post what I want.
I just wish the world would understand that censorship is detrimental to mental health and exists only to force people into hiding. It was the censors that took the joy out of my childhood and left me scarred. I've paid a high price for being different; I've alienated friends and lost opportunities, and I've been forced to lead a double life. I know I'm not the only one, and that's exactly why I want to share as much as I can with as many people as I can. I want everyone who feels like I do to know they're not alone. Even if you don't share my specific fetishes, you can appreciate what it feels like to feel like you're all alone, even when you're surrounded by people. Thankfully, the Internet is here to tell you you're not alone. However, if the censors get their way, we'll only post pictures of pretty flowers and we'll all behave like automatons until someone goes "postal". Oh, wait, that's already happening.
In my ideal world, there would be no hate and we'd all be empowered to be ourselves. I'd be able to tell my neighbor I was going to tie myself up in the woods, so they could check on me if something happened. Someday, someone will probably find me dead out there, and it won't be the ropes that killed me, it will be the secrets.
Listening to: too many hard drives
Eating: rice and veggies
Drinking: green tea